Pizza? Really?

People fight for their lives every day in some corners of the world, and kids on the Internet the last few days are like, “I’m putting my foot down for justice and taking a stand against racism! No more Papa John’s pizza!”

I had literally no idea what fresh insanity had come over my Twitter feed. It turns out Papa John’s had a bad quarter and lost a bunch of money, and Mr. John blamed the down turn on the recent NFL protests.

Kids today have apparently conflated a sensible, obvious market cause-and-effect with racism and now Papa John is a Nazi. Or something like that. I don’t even know anymore.

Full disclosure: Papa John’s is my favorite fast food pizza, even though it is basically more of a laxative than anything else at this point. But I would be crushed to have to avoid it because of some dumb political pressure.

Anyway, if it makes you feel any better, I do try to avoid getting Papa John’s anymore because of the aforementioned laxative effect. And they’re expensive. And pizza isn’t really very good for people of my advanced age anyway.